Learning The Language Of Kindness

Language is the major way we humans use to communicate with each another. Mostly it is spoken, but it can also be by sign or signal which is “handy” if you are deaf. Even animals can communicate on some levels. Ask our postman, and he will have a definite opinion on dog talk. Maybe it is our prejudice, but most of us are convinced that human language is far better than that of the dog or of any other animal.

Maybe we humans use language partly because of our inherent prejudices! We tend to “hang” with people who talk like we do. Is it the language that brings us together, or is it something else and because of our common prejudices, we begin speaking the same language. Both seem to result in the same thing.

For example, I speak hillbilly English, and you’ins from up north, you’ins talk funny and you just don’t understand God’s folks down he-er. It is not that you are so bad; it is only that you do not speak the right language! After you come to our church and show yourself to be a man of God, we will accept you and place you on our prayer list that God might heal you of that speech impediment!

Wouldn’t it be great to be able to find and to speak a language that could help our troubled diversity so we could at least get along and learn from each other? This would surely be the best language for the linguist to learn! I believe in diversity; diversity of opinions solve problems; heated debates reveal strengths of arguments; differing cultures melting into one make strong nations; and the list could go on.

Language by definition is the way we humans communicate with each other. Therefore, kindness is a language. It is the best language. If I call a dog a :dog" or a "perro" (Spanish) or a "sobaka" (Russian) or an "inu" (Japanese), that is diversity and this is the way things are. On the other hand, if I pick up the dog, set him on my lap, pet and hug him, that is kindness and the English, Spanish, Russian and Japanese all understand this language. It is the best language.

It is here I insert an important caveat. Effective language requires two-way communication. If you speak to me, and I do not respond, you have no way of knowing if I understand you. Spoken language is learned by hearing it spoken from someone, receiving its message and then uttering a response. "How are you doing?" and then, when you respond, "Wonderful," you communicate to me that you understand my question and are willing to return the favor. Language is a great miracle.

Kindness only spoken or kindness only practiced begins wonders. However, when it is received, absorbed and then returned, miraculous communications occur: wars are settled; conflicts resolved; marriages mended; churches united; jails emptied; and the real meaning of a personal God is witnessed in the heart of all of us.

I bring to memory the death of a dear friend. I attend and hold hundreds of funerals. I am holding the funeral of Raymond Terry. Five years our church prays for a kidney to be available for my Christian buddy. When it finally comes, my friend does not survive the transplant. I travel with low spirits and many questions to the funeral home. Along the journey, I pray to have some word, some mystic way of communication that will dry his lovely companion’s tears, and will keep me in control of mine till I do what is called upon for a pastor to do. That magic never comes; it is always at the tip of my tongue never to be articulated; it is always falling short of the mark. However, the Linguist from heaven knows that, at this time, pastors and friends need a better language. I speak this language not by words but by being there; it is not expressed by tongues of men but is uttered by a timely hug; it is not talking that Sister Terry needs but a single sympathetic tear. Just be putting one arm around her waist and finishing with an embrace of Godly love, she learns to let go of a portion of her struggle and hold on to the loving Lord that she knows well. Such is the power and language of kindness.

A Scriptural principle comes to mind here:

2Corinthians 6:4-6 Rather, as servants of God we commend ourselves in every way: … in kindness… and in sincere love;

Kindness is not measured in the big. Its largeness might be observed, honored or extolled, but it is measured in the small, day by day. If I am to learn a language, I cannot start with the oratory of sweeping words like President Reagan used at those memorable state of the union speeches. Instead, I start small with the looks and sounds of the alphabet. I learn the building blocks that make the language have meaning; I learn, and then practice simple words. Then I string them together in often childish ways. However, there is still something so profound in this simplistic approach. What a dynamic just to say, “Father” or “Mommy” or “FRIEND!” What a pleasure to first utter “How are you doing?” or to answer, “Good, and how are you!”

Kindness is learned in baby steps as well. You might think it comes natural to us, but you are wrong. Those who know this language practice it day by day.

I remember well. I come from church. My knee is cracked and my toe on my right foot is missing from an accident. It will be a little while before I can move like I want and never like I used to do. I have my young children with me, I notice a bad flat. I believe we might together be able to change it, but it still worries me. I look up and a police officer approaches. I am not blocking any traffic and I am a stranger, why is he stopping? “You need some help sir!” He smiles like an angel, and as far as I know he might be. He asks me to open my trunk so he could help. He begins to dirty his handsome uniform in the wet, rainy pavement as he jacks my car and replaces the tire. No one of importance ever knows what he does; no one tips him (and I could not); he receives no badge of honor; he just practices an act of kindness; he utters a single word from the best language.

Ephesian 4:32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.

I hold seminars in witnessing. Years ago I remember a lady who is trying to communicate the Gospel to her husband. She says to him, “Jerry, the Bible says any fool could understand this!” She wonders why he does not appreciate her and her God. Some people think that being a Christian witness is to preach and to holler at people and to point fingers and to “tell it the way it is!” Let me, in closing; tell you the way it really is. We are to communicate a loving God by using sincere love, and this communiqué is not a one-way street. Why not learn a better language; why not speak a language that red and yellow and black and white can understand? Why not begin today? Why not speak the language of kindness?